I thought this article listing the 13 Creepiest Things a Child Has Said was pretty hilarious (only a couple were truly creepy) and made me think of some of the creepiest things Vivi has said. But, honestly, nothing those kids said was as creepy to me as some of the things Vivi has said about her invisible friend, Kelly.
I use the word “invisible” and not “imaginary” because the result of having Kelly in our lives (real or not) was very real. And super creepy.
Vivi started preschool this past fall, going just two days a week for three hours each day. I expected her to come home with some new words and expressions but the first time she looked up at me with those big blue eyes and said “I’m going to kill you” while I was helping her brush her teeth shocked me. When I asked her where she heard that (or learned to say it like that to another person), she nonchalantly said, “Kelly.”
Then she said, “I hate you!” (she just said “Mom, I love you” unprompted as I wrote this. Awww.) Once again, I asked where she heard that.
Well, I’d had enough of that crap. Next time I took her to preschool, I asked her teacher if there was anyone in the class named Kelly and explained the things that Vivi was saying. The teacher was equally shocked, but said there was no one by the name of Kelly in the class or even with a name that sounded like Kelly. She asked me that if I figured out it was someone in the class to let her know.
I was fully prepared to let her know what kid was corrupting my sweet angel…(haha, I can’t even type that with a straight face).
But soon, Kelly’s influence wasn’t just saying horrible things…she was DOING naughty things.
Like when I left Vivi in the shower (no bathtub, just a shower) and heard all kinds of splashing. I went in there to check it out and there was water all over the floor. I asked (ok yelled), “Why did you do that Vivi??” She responded with, “I DIDN’T do it. It was KELLY!!!”
Ok, whatever. Got her out of the shower as punishment.
Then there would be times where baby Mac would start crying. Huh, there’s a bite mark on his leg. How did that happen, Vivi?
“I didn’t do it! KELLY DID!”
Or when Kelly pushed baby Mac off the bed they were jumping on.
Or when she said, “When you die, I’m going to poke you in the eye.”
Or how about when she would pull out all her clothes and make a big mess in her room?
“Kelly did it! Not me, not me! Kelly did!”
These are just a few examples of the things Kelly did (none more infuriating than the ones that ended up with baby Mac getting hurt), not to mention the numerous horrible things Kelly taught Vivi to say.
And every time I put Vivi in a timeout for crap like this, she was soooo persistent that it wasn’t her who did it; it was Kelly. She’d scream in her room “It was Kelly! It was Kelly! It wasn’t me!”
Then it went from frustrating to super creepy (not that it wasn’t creepy when Vivi announced she was going to kill me or that Kelly was in her room right at that moment). One day I was standing in the kitchen and Vivi started talking about Kelly. I informed her that Kelly wasn’t real and she needed to stop blaming Kelly for all the bad choices she was making.
To that, Vivi said, “Kelly is real. She’s standing right next to you.”
I didn’t even have the guts to look around out tiny kitchen.
The only thing I could come up with actually turned out to be the best way to handle our “Kelly” issue. I informed Vivi that she would no longer be able to play with Kelly because Kelly was teaching Vivi all these bad things to say and do. Vivi burst into tears like I’d just cut open her favorite stuffed animal and stomped on it.
Vivi started wailing and yelling, “No! Kelly will be good! Kelly will be nice now! Noooooo!”
I was surprised at the intensity of her reaction, but happy with the results. Real or not, as long as Kelly wasn’t teaching Vivi naughty stuff…and I didn’t EVER catch a glimpse of her (I DO NOT do scary stuff)…than fine.
We had made progress and Vivi would randomly announce that “Kelly’s being nice,” and I would say fine. But any time Kelly stepped out of line and got blamed for something naughty then I would tell Vivi she couldn’t play with Kelly anymore and the waterworks would ensue.
Then one day Vivi started talking about her friend Jacob. I asked if he was from preschool. She said, “No, he’s dead. And his dad is dead and his mom is dead. And his baby is dead. He has a baby.”
“Uhhhhhh…” holy crap! Then she just walked away like it ain’t no thang.
A bit later she started talking about Jacob again. When I said, “I thought he was dead?” She responded with, “A fairy fixed him.”
That fairy statement saved me from having a nervous breakdown. Between Kelly and Jacob, I couldn’t take much more.
I was totally creeped out. Forget the fact that it was the middle of the day. I could barely handle it and, to be honest, was a little scared of my three year old. Now, I totally believe that little ones can see things we cannot, including family members that have passed on who may be looking out for them (really, how could any child make it to adulthood if there weren’t unseen beings looking out for them. They are just one accident and almost accident after another). All of this made me think back to when Vivi was a teeny tiny baby and would stare off into space. See, we live in my husband’s grandma’s basement apartment and our bedroom used to be his grandpa’s ‘man cave’ where he would spend lots of time.
He passed on quite a few years ago.
His name was Kennan.
Ok, it’s not Kelly, but it’s pretty close. But then why would grandpa Ken teach Vivi to say “I’m going to kill you” and “I hate you”? I never met him, but I really don’t think he would (he was very close to my husband), which really makes me think the whole thing is Vivi blaming an imaginary friend because she doesn’t want to get in trouble.
But the longevity of the Kelly situation and persistence of her blaming Kelly makes what she was saying WAY creepier than the one-time statements of the kids in the Buzzfeed article.
What do you think? Should I be worried about Kelly (even though she hasn’t gotten blamed for much lately)? Is this creepier than the stuff those other kids said in the Buzzfeed article? What stuff have your kids said? (please, it will make me feel better)