In case you haven’t read all our previous posts (which you probably have not, and that’s ok), I don’t swear in my house (I don’t think Lizzie does either :)). My husband definitely doesn’t swear in our house. In fact, he disapproves of my sparing use of “That pisses me off,” but I don’t consider that swearing, so I use it. I don’t, however, use it around the kids because, well, you know why: they are freaking sponges!
Full disclosure, in my house growing up, we used the “b” word, but we used it as a verb, like “Quit your b*tchin.” Rarely was it used as a noun…in our house…except when sisterly spats were involved.
But in my house now, with my own young kids, we definitely don’t use the word “b*tch,” which is why I so surprised to hear Vivi use it today at dinner. It went something like this:
“Mom, can you cut my pizza up into little…er…little b*tches?”
My husband and I look at each other, struggling not to smile or laugh.
“What Vivi?” (you know just to make sure she didn’t say what we thought she said…or something)
“Can you cut my pizza up into little b*tches?”
At this point, like any responsible parents, my husband and I fall apart. I just about die laughing, in part because this is not the first time Vivi has shown toddler-white-girl-thug tendencies. See this video as further proof of how much trouble I’m in.
It was really funny because “pieces” is a pretty easy word for her, but it totally escaped her and the replacement she came up with was “b*tches.” My husband pointed out that the two words don’t even sound the same, but she does have a bit of a cold so maybe they could sound similar?
When I asked her where she’d heard that word and I was fully prepared to lay the smack down on some kid at her preschool, but her quick and honest answer (without a smile) was, “From myself.”
Little b*tches. Toddlerbomb.