“You…OLD LADY!”

My daughter has a very strong personality and very strong opinions. She knows what she wants to do and when she wants to do and not even the threat of a “bummer” will always deter her. And this is where our story begins.

Vivi likes to ‘babysit’ her little brother while he’s in a shower (we only have a shower, not a full bath) and yesterday she went to get him some toys. Unfortunately, she came back with a foam puzzle piece that I told her would get ruined if she threw it in the shower so don’t throw it in the shower. But I could see the wheels turning, her eyes were focused on that shower and, even though I told her 3 times with her less than a foot away from me not to throw in the shower, she threw it.

I told her to go to her room for a bummer. She did not want to go. So I picked her up and carried. And this is where it gets interesting: the whole way down the hallway to her room she was yelling “frgngjhdn songn. You cnjwbkb. Ahhh! jfhejubgnej.” Huh? Then I realized…she was SWEARING at me!

Let me be clear. We do not swear in our house. So she wasn’t actually swearing at me, but the way she was saying those random letters/sounds, I knew EXACTLY what she was saying.

The “swearing” only intensified when I got her in her room. She wouldn’t keep her door shut, so I  had to stand on the other side of the door and keep it shut. Then she really let me have it:

“YOU!!! You, you…VANESSA!” (insert me softly laughing)

“I’m going to count to 5 and you better let me outta here! 1…2…3…4…5…” The door does not open. “…6…7..8..11…12…13…19…11…LET ME OUT! You, you…OLD LADY!!!”

At that point I couldn’t really contain myself and let myself laugh for real. It also gave me a rare “I’m a good parent” moment that the worst names Vivi could come up with to call me when she was SUPER angry was my own name and ‘old lady’ (I actually have no idea where she picked that up or where she learned it was an insult). It was so funny to hear Vivi struggle to find words that really expressed her anger (really, she has no problem finding words most of the time; she talks nonstop and uses words like “catastrophe” and “foolish”) that it came out as random grunting and “frgn ferger..ahhhh!” At first when she started “swearing” I was concerned about what I was about hear, but after hearing the worst she could come up with was “Old Lady!” I became so grateful for the environment in which we try to raise our kids and the fact that we don’t (normally) swear.

~Vanessa

P.S. Full disclosure: I do, occasionally, let out a “That’s pissing me off” but have to be careful not to let it out around the children.

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