“S” isms

I come from a large family, and am blessed to have 37 neices and nephews. Yes 37 between mine and my hubby’s families. It’s awesome. Seriously.

One of my nephews is especially hilarious. I love hearing the things he says from my sister. “S” is 3 years old.

Let me paint you a picture so you can imagine him. Youngest in the family, only one not in school yet, big cheeks that are so kissable, curly blonde hair that sort of reminds you of the boy cabbage patch kid. He’s got quite a personality too, and is definitely one not to go unheard.

I just love the kid to pieces. He’s also so “cheeky” you forget he’s only 3 with some of his brilliant “isms”.

Here’s a few :
Mom: “S do you want to go to preschool next year? ”
S : “No, I don’t want to. ”
Mom: “why not?”
S: “Because I’m a genius. I’m cute, I’m smart, and I let it all out!”

Mom: “we need to go to school”
S: “OK mom. If you want to take a nap on the way, that’s okay. I will drive. You just tell me what to do”

S: “mom, I combed my hair, but first I put gel in it”
Mom: “how much did you use?”
S: “I don’t know, maybe 3 & 1/2”
(Not sure what measurement a 3 yr old uses, squirts? Pounds? Hairs sticking up?)

Toddlerbombs! They make cute kids even cuter!


Explanation for male pattern baldness

We’ve been playing with Play-doh a lot lately. It is such a great toy for a hyperactive 2 year old and a 1 year old.  They get mezmorized with it, and even us adults enjoy it too.

Well today while we were watching some of our friend’s kids, we were playing with the Play-doh.  Like normal “kids” we ended up making fake mustaches, snotty noses, unibrows, etc.  Well one thing led to another, and we started making hair for my husband (who is bald).

I asked Hurricane, “what happened to daddy’s hair?”
His reply, “its gone, the bear took it”
ME: “The bear took it?”
Hurricane: “Yeah, the bear. He took daddy’s big hair. Now he just have little hair left. Right here.. (pointing to my husbands bald head, and in a really high pitched voice).”
ME: “Can you go find the bear and get daddy’s hair?”
Hurricane: “Yeah! It’s lost. I go find daddy’s hair from the bear”.

He then proceeded to try and get his friends to follow him around the house looking for the Bear that stole his daddy’s hair.  Now that I am typing this, the whole conversation seems much funnier to experience then to type and read. But seriously?  How’s that for an explanation for male pattern baldness?  A bear took it?  Kids have quite the imagination. Oh Toddlerbombs.

“I hated eating from your boobs!”

Yes, this is what Vivi yelled at me from the other side of the park. Charming, isn’t it?

Backstory: Vivi loves babies. She thinks they’re “cute and adorable.” She does, however, tell me frequently (since about 6 months ago) how she hated being a baby. The reasons have been various. Usually it’s because she didn’t like not being able to do things for herself. But I’ve been surprised at how frequent and consistent this “I hated being a baby” issue has come up.

Which brings us to yesterday. We were at the park with a friend who had a baby about 3 months ago. Vivi did NOT want to be at the park was not being pleasant. That’s when my friend asked if Vivi liked babies and wanted to see her baby. Vivi lit up and got excited. So, I offered up the “interesting” factoid that Vivi had decided she loves babies but hated being a baby.

She heard me say this to my friend and yelled, “I hated being a baby!” as she ran off to (actually) play.
I gently called back, “Yes, I know.”
Then, from the other side of the little playground she offered another reason she hated being a baby when she yelled, “I hated eating from your boobs!” (it was either “eating from your boobs” or “sucking from your boobs” I can’t remember).

After the initial shock, I turned to my friend and said “That’s not what she was saying the first 18 months of her life.

Yes, 18 months. The last several months was nursing just in the morning and at night, but she loved to nurse and we just never really kicked the habit until she was 1.5 years.

So her saying she hated eating from my boobs is pretty ridiculous. Because she obviously did. I think her memory of being a baby is a bit off…dork.

lol this whole blog post is ridiculous and contains the word “boobs” too many times. I hope it makes you chuckle like it makes me.

My Daughter Learned to Dance Like a Stripper from Disney

In our house, we love music. We love to dance. We love to sing. We do both a lot and have a lot of fun doing it.

However, I’ve noticed…an…issue with my 4 year old daughter’s dance moves. Actually, I refused to believe it until my step-mother pointed it out one day last year: Vivi has stripper dance moves.

And indeed she does.

Honestly, it gets a little embarrassing. I mean, don’t get me wrong, it’s hilarious when she sits on her bum, props her upper body up with her arms behind, tilts her head back and starts swinging her hair. All she needs is a bucket of water dumped on her and it’s the scene from that movie I don’t know the name of (Flashdance?).

Sure, it’s hilarious when she sticks out her little booty and starts shaking it back and forth. Less funny is when she bends over and puts her hands on the ground and starts the toddler version of twerking. And, no, she never saw Miley Cyrus’s performance.

IN FACT, our television habits consist of PBS and Disney Junior. EXCEPT, occasionally, when I’m on the phone or she’s with an older relative and she ends up watching “older kid shows” and music videos on the Disney Channel. Which, is where she learned to dance like a stripper, I’m pretty sure (I KNOW Sid the Science kid isn’t dry-humping the air to the beat).

And as I started to pay attention to those shows about the tween girls at Hogwartz music school or whatever and the music videos between shows, I realized that some of her stripper moves looked awfully familiar.

First I laughed.

Then I cried (on the inside).

What happened to the Disney Channel (and other kids entertainment/channels) being “safe” for all ages? I mean, when I was an older kid watching TV, it was Boy Meets World and even Rescue 911. No 14 year old girls looking and acting WAY older than they should. And what’s up with that anyway? What is wrong with letting kids be kids and protecting them from the icky stuff of the world while we can? Girls will get boobs and want to be sexy in their own time…despite what Honey Boo Boo (or her mom) says, it is NOT cool to do it before then. It happens eventually anyway, so why speed it up?

Sigh. But what to do about Vivi’s stripper moves. I just don’t know. The girl loves to dance and is probably more of a interpretive dancer with stripper tendencies than straight up stripper. I guess until then I’ll just keep doing what I’ve been doing: telling her to “Get your bum in. Don’t do that. That’s not appropriate.”

I just hope she doesn’t end up like Jessie Spano…

My Four Year Old Daughter is Smarter Than Me

I realize it’s been a while since I’ve written anything; life, you know? Certainly there’s been no shortage of Toddler Bombs at my house. But I have noticed they are becoming a different kind of bomb.

My daughter is no longer a toddler. She’s four. She’s a kid. A kid with a smart mouth. And an even smarter brain. Here is an example of a day in the life of one of the snarkiest, most intelligent, but still four year olds, I know.

We try to get to our local YMCA a couple times per week so mommy can have a couple hours to exercise (or what we call “eppecise”) and the kids have another opportunity to play with other kids and different toys. Usually when I pick up Vivi I get “She is SO funny…” bla bla. I just smile and nod. I get it. I hear it ALL the time; babysitters, child watch pros, teachers, etc. (in fact after her first day of preschool her teacher proclaimed to me: “She’s the best thing to happen to Room 5.” Ok, that one is just me bragging.) I love that people think my daughter’s hilarious…I just wish she pulled her well behaved funniness out for me more than other people. But I digress…

So earlier this week, I walk in to pick her up from the YMCA Child Watch and the girl tells me how funny Vivi is (yes, yes, I know…) BUT then continues on to tell me that Vivi started a coup in the child watch.

She did what?!

Yes, apparently, my darling, funny four year old started a coup. Nothing too serious mind you. It involved wanting to get out the bean table, but the staff said no. So what did my daughter do? Throw a fit? No (thank goodness because that’s exactly what would’ve happened at home). Apparently, she went around to her child watch friends and gathered supporters. I can see it now. Her standing on the little toy table yelling “What do want?!” and the kids yelling back “Bean table!”

“When do we want it?!”

Ok, I didn’t get the deets and I’m sure that’s not exactly how it happened. But apparently, she did gather enough bean table supporters to convince the staff to get out the bean table.

Vivi won. And, honestly, she usually does.

I was oddly proud that Vivi found a different (and more mature, if not manipulative) way to get what she wanted. My daughter’s first rebellion where she used the power of the masses and not screaming. Yes, proud. And, a little embarrassed. I’m not going to lie, I love that my daughter is stubborn and independent. It makes her hard to deal with now, but who can doubt that she could change the world…for better or worse depending on her mood. I try to foster that independence and critical thinking (don’t ask me how) while still disciplining and correcting her appropriately, but it’s a hard line to walk. And when situations like the rising of a rebellion in the YMCA child watch occur, I do wonder if people wonder “Does that mom let her daughter get everything she wants?”

To be honest, Vivi usually does get a lot of what she wants. Part of that has to do with the fact that I am a reflex “no” mom and after discussing it with Vivi (and her employing her powers of persuasion, sometimes logic, sometimes persistence, etc.) I realize it’s not that big of a deal and let her do/get it (this does NOT apply to buying material things. She rarely gets what she wants when we’re in the store because we are on a budget).

And lest ye think that I simply don’t have rules for my daughter, that brings us to the other event this week that tells me my daughter needs a smarter mom than me:

We were in the car discussing Beauty and the Beast. She asked why the magic fairy put a spell on the Beast. I told her that the Beast wasn’t very nice to the fairy. Of course she asked, “Why?” Knowing where this “Why?” conversation could go, I said (hoping to end the discussion) “He just wasn’t very nice and made bad choices.”

She thought about it for a moment and said, “Maybe he didn’t have a mommmy…Maybe he didn’t have a mommy and daddy to make rules for him.”

Ohhhh, crap. So she understands the importance of rules, obviously. She just doesn’t like them or want to play by my rules. I’ve long known that my daughter is a boundary pusher, but this just tells me she knows EXACTLY what she’s doing because she obviously understands the value of rules.

And I don’t think I’ve ever explained that part to her.

See? She’s just too smart for me. *slaps head

Toddler Bomb.